I couldn't make this up

What a night- my favorite kind (not really). I can't go into any kind of details, but let's just say this is an infertile's nightmare. Not one, but two women delivered in the last 24 hours that had no prenatal care. They hid their pregnancy from everyone, I mean everyone - even a husband - how does one do that? Both did not want to hold or even see their baby and both are being given up for adoption. One has the luck to have to suffer through narcotic withdrawal before they can be placed with a family. The social histories are astounding and very, very sad. We are small hospital and for us to see one situation like this is rare, let alone two in 24 hours. I suppose the good news is that both of these babies will hopefully be placed in homes with parents who truly want a child they can love with all their hearts.

I thought my lead in for this post would be the IUI, but I am not terribly optimistic about this cycle. I was very antsy early in the day so I packed up my kranky Z and went shopping. We made it to Dr. S's office around 5:45 pm. He did his thing with C's little swimmers, and he showed them to us under the microscope. C gave them a little pep talk. 20 minutes later I was in the familiar stirrup position. One thing I have never really liked about Dr. S is that he does not really communicate what he is doing and why - one of the reasons I did not chose him as my OB a few years ago. Don't get me wrong, I think he is very nice and a good physician, just not very warm and fuzzy. But I digress. He does the IUI - ouch - and I lie there (with my hips slightly elevated!) for 30 minutes. I was mildly crampy, my back hurt from being so tense from the last couple of days. When we got home I went upstairs to lay down and I ended up falling sound asleep somewhere around 9:30 pm.

Today I wake up in a mood! Holy moly am I on edge. The worst part of it is that I am aware of it, and don't feel like I am able to act any differently if I tried. This is such new territory for me - the 2ww post IUI. I am trying not to be too analytical, but I can't help it. I have had no CM change, no significant elevation of temp....don't know what it all means, but I don't think it's good. I am going to be a freakin' wreck for the next couple of weeks! I leave tomorrow to visit my parents - hopefully this will be relaxing and not stressful.