IUI, sleep, repeat.

It's a good thing that I've had 24 hours to cool off before writing, because otherwise the title would have been WTF!!!!!!!!

Let's go back to yesterday. I worked a day shift (yuck). We were busy, but it was a pretty uneventful day. I was able to leave a little early so I could meet C at home versus at the doctor's office for the IUI. My parents had come in town early in the day and I wanted to see them as well. As I was driving home I was thinking "this is it, this is going to work tonight," and I have to say I was almost giddy. So while I was having a quick dinner with my parents, C was upstairs preparing the "specimen". I suppose the background of noise of me and the in-laws was too much and he experienced some difficulty with his aim. The resulting specimen was pitiful in quantity and all I wanted to do was cry. I put on a brave face though and said that there wasn't anything we could do about it now. When we get to Dr. Old Timer's office, he says he is not sure if there is enough, but we might as well try. He recommended that we also come back the next morning at 7 am to do another IUI. As I am lying there (with my hips up), C keeps asking what I'm feeling and what I'm thinking, and apologizing. The only thing I could think of was that I can't get into a fight right now or get too upset, because that will mean extra pressure on him in the morning. There have been some instances of performance anxiety so I don't want to do anything to rock the boat or jeopardize our morning appointment. But I was devastated.

We went back this morning with adequate quantity, but it turns out the sperm isn't looking too good. I'm not sure whether it is motility or morbidity that was the problem. But before we left, Dr. O.T. said that he was going to get us the name of a specialist - CRAP. The second IUI was pretty freakin' painful. My uterus is retroverted so he had to pull it forward - ouch. When the procedure was done and I was lying there for the obligatory 30 minutes, I lost it. Started crying. I don't know how people emotionally handle IVF. IUIs are hard enough for me right now. I am in awe of people who have dealt with infertility for years.

At least I will be distracted for the next few days with family in town, and Z's party tomorrow. Beta will be on July 23 if no AF. It is amazing how fast the first two weeks go by and next thing you know its the 2ww again.

Isn't IUI supposed to significantly improve chances with MF?

Anyway, still hopeful (but not giddy). Right now I'm tired, a little disappointed.