...and the roller coaster starts to climb.....

I called my IVF nurse on Saturday and talked with her a little more about my third beta. I didn't think that I could wait until Monday and asked if it was okay if I had it drawn on Sunday. She said "sure" and that she understood that the waiting can be torture. I was relieved that I would not have to wait....but then I started thinking.... I would be at work on Sunday and if it was bad, which is what I was expecting, then I don't think that emotionally I would have been able to stay at work. As it turns out, Sunday was a mad house, partly because a couple of nurses called out sick, so it would not have been good to risk it by having the beta and then be miserable at work, surrounded by babies. So I decided to do the beta on Monday. Right after I got the results of beta #3, I thought "I just can't do this again". In an effort to start formulating my next plan, I took a look at job postings in other departments and other hospitals. I also did some research on adoption (which was terribly depressing) and finally I started looking into a Master's in Nursing Informatics. Then I thought about when I would go out and get good and drunk and color my hair (my mousy brown and grey roots are tragic).

Yesterday, I met a friend of mine who has also had fertility issues and some pretty horrific pregnancy related losses. Anyway, she has been doing IUIs over the last few months and she had her last IUI 2 days after my retrieval. (Can you see where this is going?) Well she is pregnant and she had to have her second beta drawn on Monday as well. We decided to make a day of it to take our minds off waiting around for the phone call. We went to the hospital, then lunch, then shopping. On our way home the clinic called. My beta is 194. I was in shock...it is still not where they would like it to be (they wanted it around 216), but they are encouraged. In a daze I heard her saying things like "we are optimistic" "there is reason for concern" "we are just going with it" and my personal favorite: "one third of all betas don't have the rise they expect, and everything turns out fine". It was the most bizarre feeling to be sitting there, not happy, not sad, just surprised. I have learned to live my life in 48 to 72 hour increments...and I think that I am doing fairly well. I'm trying to keep myself real busy, lots of activities planned on my days off. My ultrasound is scheduled for next Monday and the nurse said to keep the appointment...at least for now. My next beta is tomorrow morning...stay tuned.

Incidentally, my friend's beta was over 700.