Let's try this again....

So the morning of the ER went pretty well, that is until I actually went into the procedure room. C was able to collect his specimen before I had to go in, because we didn't want another "incident". As I'm lying on the stretcher, anxiously awaiting my sleepy meds, the process of starting an IV commences. Unfortunately this was becoming a repeat of last time. They were trying to put in a 20 or 22 gauge (the smallest you typically use on an adult) and after 4 attempts, decided to wait for anesthesia. When the boychild of an anesthesiologist came in, they told him of the difficulties they had starting an IV. He starts looking at my neck and my feet for a site....I'm not kidding. Part of me thinks he was looking at these sites just because they would be "cool" and good experience for him to start an IV in those places. He did finally get one in in my hand, thank goodness. And not much longer after that I was getting the happy juice. At this point we were running very late, almost an hour, so I feel bad about the ER after me (I was the first of the day). The RE (my favorite) came in briefly during the IV crisis and said "Looks like we'll get 6-8." I was very disappointed, especially since we had 14 last cycle.

Next thing I know, I'm in recovery. They retrieved 11 eggs - yay, although I still thought it would be more. I did not have any crazy bleeding and was able to leave the clinic in a reasonable amount of time. C wanted to stop at Best Buy on the way home, and I was desperate for a sandwich. I actually went into Best Buy with him because "I feel great!" That only lasted for about 10 minutes, then I was back out in the car in a reclined position, regretting my strong shopping impulse. As soon as I got home I climbed into bed, and pretty much stayed there the rest of the day. I went downstairs when my daughter came home from daycare and the first thing she said was "why is there a baby in your belly?" I guess she hears us talking a lot more than we give her credit for.

I was able to lay low for the next couple of days. 9 out of the 11 fertilized, and we are definitely on track for a 5 day transfer. Thank goodness! Last night I asked C how he felt about this cycle. I guess I was fishing for a little optimism, because I surely don't have any. It's not that I don't think this will work, I'm hopeful that it will. I just know that a positive beta, even multiple doubling betas, even a heartbeat, doesn't mean that we will have a baby. If we do get pregnant, I wonder at what point I will be able to reassured....probably not until a baby is in my arms.

Right now we have a great distraction, to keep us from focusing all on baby stuff. We are going to Disney the week after Thanksgiving. We have made our reservations, and yesterday I spent the day planning some of our Disney excursions. Z is going to have a princess makeover, complete with hairdo, princess dress, tiara and shoes. We will also be there for an afterhours Christmas Party/parade. I think I just might be as excited as Z...if that is possible. I'm at work for the weekend, which will also be a distraction from obsessing about ET.