Reality

Well, it's official. My last day at my current job will be January 9th. Orientation starts on January 21st. What am I going to do with all this time off? I think that I may go to a yoga retreat (Kripalu) and go to a knitting weekend of all things (and yes, those are one and the same). Kriapula has amazing workshops - my first thought was to attend one on letting go of "fear", but then I saw this knitting workshop: 3 days for experienced knitters and lecturer is (drum roll please) Karen Allen......of "Raiders of the Lost Ark" fame....c'mon you know who I'm talking about. Apparently the actress thing got boring and now she has a knitting book and goes around the country doing knitting seminars/workshops. So fear be damned.....I'm gonna learn inartisa knitting! I would love to go with a friend, but my friends who knit don't do yoga and vice versa.

I'm trying not to think too hard about how far away IVF #1 seems (5 1/2 months). We have an appointment with the RE on November 28th. They have scheduled it to be one hour long, so hopefully we will come away with a bit of plan and an idea of how much the meds are going to cost. I believe that they have done all the testing for me that they are going to do, so I'm hoping that I will even have a protocol so I can start doing some research. In the meantime we are "trying" this month on our own. I have only a vague idea of what cd it is. This weekend C asked me what kind of "schedule" we were on....of course the most fertile days are going to be the day the whole family arrives through when they leave....of course. But my response to the schedule question was that I am not going to get wound up about it this month....or maybe even next. The family is coming here for Thanksgiving, so that is the last thing on my mind right now. My brain is full of thoughts of vacuuming and cleaning toilets.

The reality of leaving this job is hitting me in little jabs. The other day I was at a committee meeting and the group leader was asking for someone to volunteer for a project. It was something that I normally would jump at doing, but I know I wouldn't be there to see it through, so I sat there silent- which is not like me at all. My OB is part of this committee, I had not told him my decision yet. He has actually been left out of the loop because I didn't really trust him not to spill the beans at work. So I said "I need to tell you something". He says "Let me guess you are leaving and going to work at ****Hospital so you can have IVF".

What the *#%$?

Apparently my primary care doctor and my OB were at a seminar about infertility and my primary care doc spoke up and said that she had a patient that was changing jobs specifically so she could have insurance coverage for IVF....didn't mention any names....that was all she said. But my OB knew that she was talking about me.....have I mentioned that I currently work for a VERY small hospital.

Anyway, so after I hit the "publish post" button. I will be working on my resignation letter, which I need to turn in today. Then comes that task of starting to tell people that I am leaving. I have never given this much notice...almost 2 months. I know that I should tell co-workers sooner than later. I had said right from the beginning that I would definitely tell people the reason I am leaving, but now I am not so sure.