Comments, protocols and a birthday party

So I've turned on the "moderate comments" button. Never in a million years would I think that my little blog would turn into the internet's version of telemarketing. Okay, so I've only had two comments like that, but it is still a little disturbing.



Last weekend I went to the birthday party of one of my best friend's little girl. This of course is the little girl that was conceived 6 months after we first started trying. In some ways time is passing so quickly. Of course when it comes to getting going with this first IVF, it is taking forever! I have been off clomid for several months and my cycle had just started to get regular again - 28 days on the nose. Then we throw in a clomid challenge this month and just because I had them laying around the house I did OPKs this month as well. Unfortunately I didn't have enough OPKs to make a pin point determination about when I surged, but I think I am on a 32 day cycle this month.



I don't have my protocol yet, all I know is my IVF nurse told me it would be about 7 weeks from AF to ET. The only thing I know for sure is BCPs starting cd 1-3 and lasting for about 3 weeks. I am expecting a lot during the meeting next Wed with the RE. We don't know meds or cost (even though everything will be covered, we have to pay for the meds out of pocket then get reimbursed). Frankly, I'm a little disappointed with the IVF nurse so far. For example: I was originally anticipating AF this past weekend, and the only instructions I got after my mock transfer was to call on cd 1 so I could start BCPs. I had to call her last week and ask if I should get a prescription called in just in case AF came over the weekend. It seems that she should be thinking proactively about these things. Maybe I'm expecting too much, but I have never done injectables and from everything that I read, timing of meds is critical. Am I expecting too much?

The long awaited warm and fuzzies

I finally got a large dose of much needed warm and fuzzies. Yesterday we had an IVF mandated session with a psychologist. We had no idea what to expect. It turned out to be almost 2 hours with a fantastic woman. She was getting our background, general life experiences and our expectations for the IVF process. She spent a lot of time on what we needed from the IVF team to calm our nerves. I guess I come across as a bit compulsive because she said that from what she could see, not only do my ducks need to be in a row, they need to be dressed, groomed and with manicures. Hmmmm....okay so maybe I should lighten up a bit. The beauty of this meeting was that she will take all of this information back to "the team". She is part of a weekly IVF meeting that discusses each case. I really feel she will be an advocate for me and I feel that there is a sort of safety net for us in case I lose it.

So with that meeting complete, I am just waiting for AF. During the ultrasound last week I had the tech look specifically at my left ovary to see if that looked like my ovulating side this month. She did in fact see the largest follicle on the left so C and I have been giving it the last natural go round.

We are off to my parent's house for Easter this weekend. We are calling this the "Easter Olympics" because they have so much planned for us to do in 2 days that we will pretty much be going from venue to venue. On the agenda so far is: ice skating, swimming, boccie, kite flying, croquet, egg hunt, egg decorating, and bowling. Some of the activities will be weather dependent, but my mom suggested playing bocci in the basement if needed.

Relief

Yesterday was a big day. I told my boss. I had been dreading this moment. Would she immediately see right through me and say "you only took this job for the IVF benefits, didn't you?" I wouldn't say she was ecstatic, but she definitely understood and appreciated my situation. The first thing she said was that she was glad that I came to her first and told her early (partly so that she could anticipate a hopefully relatively soon maternity leave). Of course I will schedule as much as I can on days off and if I need time off during a shift, they will happily accommodate my needs. The day got even better when I talked to the woman in charge of my orientation schedule. She was very warm and fuzzy and full of hugs and excitement. My latest concern about my schedule had been that I anticipate the week of ER and transfer will be around my last week of orientation. "No problem", she says. There is one week that I will need to spend doing some "classwork". It is a self study module.....so I will do that the week of ER and transfer. I almost cried of relief.

Earlier in the week I had my ultrasound and mock transfer - ouch. Everything was fine and looks clear with no problems anticipated for transfer. The results of my clomid challenge are another story. Since I had my day 10 FSH done at the hospital where I work, I looked up my results: 10. Piss. I don't know what my day 3 FSH or E2 is yet. My FSH 6 months ago was 5. I've heard that the results are only as good as your worst FSH, so I'm becoming less optimistic. In the online research that I've done, 10 is the bottom of the range for not responding well to the IVF hormones. If there is anyone out there still reading this and has any input, please let me know what your experience has been. I don't officially meet with my RE until April 9, but I will probably be getting my calendar dates in the next couple of weeks, and AF is due to arrive end of March -first of April. I'm trying desperately not to get too pessimistic without more information.

The beginning of the end?

Why is there always a pregnant woman doing her glucose tolerace test at the lab when I am there for IF blood work? ALWAYS.

We are starting to move forward and it scares the poop out of me. I start clomid today....another clomid challenge. I'm not sure how much they think is going to change in 6 months, but I suppose they are more cautious because of my age. Next Monday is an ultrasound with mock transfer. Then more blood work and a mandatory meeting with a psychologist. As long as there is nothing unexpected, we will start cycling the first week of April(ish). It is surreal that we are making the final steps to leap off this precipice. As much research as I have done, there are so many unknowns.

Last night I had a very weird experience. Out of nowhere I had vertigo. I thought I was going to puke. When I laid down I felt like I was drunk and had the bed spins. The spins finally went away, but only as long as I laid perfectly still. If I turned over, it started all over. I ended up calling out sick from work for today. I'm feeling a little guilty right now, as I am feeling much better, though still dizzy....this is turning out to be a mental health day.