I finally got a large dose of much needed warm and fuzzies. Yesterday we had an IVF mandated session with a psychologist. We had no idea what to expect. It turned out to be almost 2 hours with a fantastic woman. She was getting our background, general life experiences and our expectations for the IVF process. She spent a lot of time on what we needed from the IVF team to calm our nerves. I guess I come across as a bit compulsive because she said that from what she could see, not only do my ducks need to be in a row, they need to be dressed, groomed and with manicures. Hmmmm....okay so maybe I should lighten up a bit. The beauty of this meeting was that she will take all of this information back to "the team". She is part of a weekly IVF meeting that discusses each case. I really feel she will be an advocate for me and I feel that there is a sort of safety net for us in case I lose it.
So with that meeting complete, I am just waiting for AF. During the ultrasound last week I had the tech look specifically at my left ovary to see if that looked like my ovulating side this month. She did in fact see the largest follicle on the left so C and I have been giving it the last natural go round.
We are off to my parent's house for Easter this weekend. We are calling this the "Easter Olympics" because they have so much planned for us to do in 2 days that we will pretty much be going from venue to venue. On the agenda so far is: ice skating, swimming, boccie, kite flying, croquet, egg hunt, egg decorating, and bowling. Some of the activities will be weather dependent, but my mom suggested playing bocci in the basement if needed.
Showing posts with label IVF. Show all posts
Showing posts with label IVF. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Friday, September 21, 2007
New
I feel like I am a new person, maybe even a little of the "old" me....the fertile me. C did my laundry last night. I can get pretty wound up about the handling of certain clothes (ex: I don't want my scrubs to sit in the dryer too long because they will wrinkle quickly, and there are certain sweater/shirts that I want either dried on a low setting or drip dried). To make a very long story short, there was a small snafu involving a pair of jeans and a sweater. Here's the kicker - I did not get mad, I didn't snap. I simply asked C to make an adjustment for next time. Later in the day there was another incident - although I don't even remember what it was - and I felt so calm...and not angry. What a pleasant change (both for me a C).
We are at the decision stage. No real action going on here right now. I just finished my clomid challenge and had blood work drawn yesterday morning. We are waiting for the results of b/w and SA, then we will formulate a real plan. In the meantime, I have gotten my references in order and I am in the process of doing an online application to the big scary hospital that is not so scary after all. I hope to be able to submit everything by early next week. I have to do a little research into getting my nursing license in another state. I'm hoping it is as simple as one page paperwork and a fee.
This weekend we are off to my brother's for a big family reunion. We have family coming in from Colorado that I haven't seen since our wedding 6 years ago. We will still work on ttc the old fashioned way (which of course means this weekend while we are at my brother's- luckily our usual sleeping arrangements put us in the basement far away from everyone). But the stress and anticipation and planning are minimal. I may even go crazy and have a beer...or four.
With the prospect of a new plan, the IVF plan, I find myself searching blogs to find those that are in my boat: advanced maternal age (hate that label), secondary infertility, adenomyosis, and IVF. If anyone has some suggested blogs that are not already on my list, please drop me the link.
We are at the decision stage. No real action going on here right now. I just finished my clomid challenge and had blood work drawn yesterday morning. We are waiting for the results of b/w and SA, then we will formulate a real plan. In the meantime, I have gotten my references in order and I am in the process of doing an online application to the big scary hospital that is not so scary after all. I hope to be able to submit everything by early next week. I have to do a little research into getting my nursing license in another state. I'm hoping it is as simple as one page paperwork and a fee.
This weekend we are off to my brother's for a big family reunion. We have family coming in from Colorado that I haven't seen since our wedding 6 years ago. We will still work on ttc the old fashioned way (which of course means this weekend while we are at my brother's- luckily our usual sleeping arrangements put us in the basement far away from everyone). But the stress and anticipation and planning are minimal. I may even go crazy and have a beer...or four.
With the prospect of a new plan, the IVF plan, I find myself searching blogs to find those that are in my boat: advanced maternal age (hate that label), secondary infertility, adenomyosis, and IVF. If anyone has some suggested blogs that are not already on my list, please drop me the link.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Sleep, I need sleep
Just a quick post, as I am off to bed after a very long weekend at work. I'm on day 3 of my clomid challenge. Last night I had such a monster headache (fatigue? clomid? stress?) I felt like I might puke. The only thing I could think of is that if I'm having a tough time with the 100 mg of clomid - what are gonadotropins going to do to me! I guess I'll jump off that bridge when/if we get there. I took 100 mg for three months a while ago, and I don't remember it having this effect so I'm hoping it was just emotional and physical stress versus pharmacological stress!
I wanted to submit my resume today, but I did not get a chance to finish updating it yet. Maybe tomorrow. I also had the mortifying thought that even though I apply for this job, I might not get it. Hmmmmm.....then what? And if I do start a new job, will I have to immediately asking for accommodations to my schedule for IVF? I read that the injections have to be taken at the same time each day within 30 minutes of the scheduled time. If I'm at work, it might be difficult to make that cut off time. I can just hear it now "I know you have the urge to push, but could you wait a minute while I go shoot up?"
I wanted to submit my resume today, but I did not get a chance to finish updating it yet. Maybe tomorrow. I also had the mortifying thought that even though I apply for this job, I might not get it. Hmmmmm.....then what? And if I do start a new job, will I have to immediately asking for accommodations to my schedule for IVF? I read that the injections have to be taken at the same time each day within 30 minutes of the scheduled time. If I'm at work, it might be difficult to make that cut off time. I can just hear it now "I know you have the urge to push, but could you wait a minute while I go shoot up?"
Friday, September 14, 2007
hot topic
I find myself trying to justify the tribulations we are voluntarily putting ourselves through in order to have another child. Mind you I do not feel the need to search for validation within myself, but to everyone else. I had thought that I found a safe place to land in this community of infertility. Lately I have been clicking on links of blogs that take me 3-4 blogs away from my original search or favorite's list. There is the hot topic out there of primary vs. secondary infertility, and honestly I am starting to feel a little unwelcome by some. I'm not going to get on any kind of soap box. When people feel so passionately about something, I have little confidence that anything will change their minds. And let me also be clear, I don't want to change anyone's mind, maybe just offer a little different perspective.
My friend who passed away of ovarian cancer 3 years ago used to talk about taking her own life at the end, when her quality of life was not acceptable for her. She also talked about not going through chemo again. She heard a lot of "I would never do that" or "I would want to fight it to the end". Her comment was simple: you don't know what you would do, until you are in that very situation. Those who say "I would just be happy with one", maybe you will, maybe you won't. There is no telling until you are truly faced with these decisions, that they are no longer hypothetical. In the end, my friend changed her mind, she did have more chemo and cancer, not hemlock, took her life. We are also entitled to change our minds and adapt our philosophies as our environment, lives and world changes around us. Speaking in absolutes is dangerous way to go through life.
Anyway, enough of that. I am seriously considering a job change in order to have coverage for IVF. I started updating my resume yesterday.
My friend who passed away of ovarian cancer 3 years ago used to talk about taking her own life at the end, when her quality of life was not acceptable for her. She also talked about not going through chemo again. She heard a lot of "I would never do that" or "I would want to fight it to the end". Her comment was simple: you don't know what you would do, until you are in that very situation. Those who say "I would just be happy with one", maybe you will, maybe you won't. There is no telling until you are truly faced with these decisions, that they are no longer hypothetical. In the end, my friend changed her mind, she did have more chemo and cancer, not hemlock, took her life. We are also entitled to change our minds and adapt our philosophies as our environment, lives and world changes around us. Speaking in absolutes is dangerous way to go through life.
Anyway, enough of that. I am seriously considering a job change in order to have coverage for IVF. I started updating my resume yesterday.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
RE visit
Hmmmmm....where, oh where do I begin?
Today we went to the big scary (in)fertility clinic at the big scary teaching/research hospital. The long and short of it is: IVF is likely to be the only logical choice for our next step. We met with a very nice, very informative nurse practitioner. She laughed when I asked about BBTs and endometrial biopsies. She also said that I was "way beyond" clomid as treatment. She was nice enough not to use a biological clock analogy, but she echoed my concerns about my age. After all, my infertility problems are not going to get any better the older I get. So I have my order for cd 3 b/w which will be tomorrow, clomid challenge on days 5-9, then repeat b/w next Thursday. C will have an SA next week, then I think I have to have an u/s, but I'm not sure on what day. I left with my head spinning from all the information, some of the details are a little fuzzy right now. As long as my fsh is not too high (it was around 4 last fall), then she strongly recommends IVF. My big hesitation about IVF has always been the money. We met with the financial person and got the breakdown on costs: $7,950 for all office visits, ultrasounds, procedures and blood work. Then there is the a la carte choices like embryo freezing, ICSI, embryo storage fees. Medications are separate and run between $3,000 and $5,000. So when all is said and done - one cycle = about $13,000. Right now I am paying about $400 per IUI cycle as they have been billing my u/s as diagnostic. However, if we do IUI with injectables(because I am "way beyond" clomid) then costs for IUI would run about $5,000. The stinker part of the IUI is there would not be a guarantee that I will ovulate on the left, so that $5,000 might as well be flushed down the toilet. At least with IVF we would bypass the tubes (or tube, rather).
So how do we pay for this, if we decide to move forward? The nurse practitioner patted me on the leg at one point and told me that if I worked at the big scary teaching/research hospital then IVF treatments are covered up to $35,000. As soon as I got home I looked on the job postings, and there is a couple of positions open on their childbirth center. C (who right now owns his own business) really stepped up to the plate and said that he would look for full or part time work at the big scary hospital too. He said that I was shouldering enough of this burden, that it shouldn't all be on me to finance this too. I would marry him all over again! I also happen to look at IT postings and there are a couple of jobs that he would be suited for as well.
Now, there are quite a few positives about changing jobs for both of us, including opportunities for career advancement, increased pay, for me- access to state of the art medical technology and medical staff. The major negative is that the big scary hospital is an hour away. If C took a job there, we would lose our flexibility in scheduling daycare and quick getaways. If I took a job there, I would be away from home too much. Unless I worked there 20 hours per week (minimum hours for full benefits) and then worked per diem at my current hospital. There is so much to think about, I'm don't know how we will make this decision. I'm trying to just take this one step at a time. First we have to get through the lab work to see what we are dealing with. I'm guessing that we will not be really doing anything for at least a couple of months. There are some other options for creative financing, but I think that they would be a little irresponsible and potentially put us in the poor house.
Today we went to the big scary (in)fertility clinic at the big scary teaching/research hospital. The long and short of it is: IVF is likely to be the only logical choice for our next step. We met with a very nice, very informative nurse practitioner. She laughed when I asked about BBTs and endometrial biopsies. She also said that I was "way beyond" clomid as treatment. She was nice enough not to use a biological clock analogy, but she echoed my concerns about my age. After all, my infertility problems are not going to get any better the older I get. So I have my order for cd 3 b/w which will be tomorrow, clomid challenge on days 5-9, then repeat b/w next Thursday. C will have an SA next week, then I think I have to have an u/s, but I'm not sure on what day. I left with my head spinning from all the information, some of the details are a little fuzzy right now. As long as my fsh is not too high (it was around 4 last fall), then she strongly recommends IVF. My big hesitation about IVF has always been the money. We met with the financial person and got the breakdown on costs: $7,950 for all office visits, ultrasounds, procedures and blood work. Then there is the a la carte choices like embryo freezing, ICSI, embryo storage fees. Medications are separate and run between $3,000 and $5,000. So when all is said and done - one cycle = about $13,000. Right now I am paying about $400 per IUI cycle as they have been billing my u/s as diagnostic. However, if we do IUI with injectables(because I am "way beyond" clomid) then costs for IUI would run about $5,000. The stinker part of the IUI is there would not be a guarantee that I will ovulate on the left, so that $5,000 might as well be flushed down the toilet. At least with IVF we would bypass the tubes (or tube, rather).
So how do we pay for this, if we decide to move forward? The nurse practitioner patted me on the leg at one point and told me that if I worked at the big scary teaching/research hospital then IVF treatments are covered up to $35,000. As soon as I got home I looked on the job postings, and there is a couple of positions open on their childbirth center. C (who right now owns his own business) really stepped up to the plate and said that he would look for full or part time work at the big scary hospital too. He said that I was shouldering enough of this burden, that it shouldn't all be on me to finance this too. I would marry him all over again! I also happen to look at IT postings and there are a couple of jobs that he would be suited for as well.
Now, there are quite a few positives about changing jobs for both of us, including opportunities for career advancement, increased pay, for me- access to state of the art medical technology and medical staff. The major negative is that the big scary hospital is an hour away. If C took a job there, we would lose our flexibility in scheduling daycare and quick getaways. If I took a job there, I would be away from home too much. Unless I worked there 20 hours per week (minimum hours for full benefits) and then worked per diem at my current hospital. There is so much to think about, I'm don't know how we will make this decision. I'm trying to just take this one step at a time. First we have to get through the lab work to see what we are dealing with. I'm guessing that we will not be really doing anything for at least a couple of months. There are some other options for creative financing, but I think that they would be a little irresponsible and potentially put us in the poor house.
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