Well, we are on our way. I started BCP yesterday. I have an HSG scheduled for Thursday. The HSG is to see if my uterus has healed well from the D&C. I am a bit bummed about the timing of the HSG as I will have to leave work to have it done. It is only about a 5 minute walk from our unit, but because I will be leaving the floor for a doctor's appointment, it took an act of congress to get it approved. Ok, not really, but I did have to notify my boss, and she in turn had to talk with the charge nurse that is going to be on that day and tell her why I have to leave. You see it is a pretty strict policy that we do not make any kind of appointments for a day that we are scheduled to work. Our unit is very unpredictable when it comes to planning a break. My boss is very understanding about the cycle driven schedule of IVF, so she is happy (well, maybe not happy, but understanding anyway) to accommodate my IVF scheduling needs. Unfortunately it is necessary to tell the charge nurse what is happening and why, because otherwise it looks like I am getting preferential treatment when it comes to leaving the floor. I'm sure this will come up again for follicle monitoring ultrasounds, ER and ET, so I guess I should just buck up and get used to it. I'm just not sure how ready I am for others to know about what I am going through.
Just the other day I overheard a fellow nurse make a comment about a patient who had gotten pregnant with an IUD in place. Her comment was "now that is a baby that was meant to be". Does she mean that if it takes any effort to get pregnant it wasn't meant to be? I know you all have heard the same comments from unsuspecting friends or acquaintances. I don't know why it bothers me, it's none of their business, right? And yet, on some level, it must matter to me about what others think, I can't help it.
So, if all goes like it did the first time around, ER will be around Oct 8th. We will be hoping to do another 5dt, but that of course could change. It is surreal to think about my calendar. The IVF coordinator, while looking at my cycle initially was plotting it out to when I would have my pg test. I'm a little nervous as if all goes well this time around, I will be 10 weeks pregnant for our trip to Disney. Ok, ok, I can't get that far ahead of myself......
I'm excited about this cycle. What a difference from last time. I hate being a veteran at this, but I'm glad that I know my way around the meds, the u/s, the labile moods, etc.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Saturday, August 9, 2008
My Own Personal Cheerleader
And believe it or not, that cheerleader is my RE. The follow up visit was pretty amazing. We talked about the miscarriage and the aftermath. I was actually impressed that she was very sensitive about women having their D&C in the clinic, rather than in the OR. She works with a lot of residents and she says she often hears them complain that doing a D&C in the OR is a waste of money and effort when it is a simple procedure that can be done in the office. Her response is that she can't imagine the emotional pain that women have to go through when they are asked abort the products of conception in the very place where they came to get pregnant. Speaking of residents, after the LPN took my vital signs she said "Okay, now Resident X will be in to see you". Well Resident X is someone that I work with. I actually just took care of his wife and his new baby about a week ago. Other than this latest interaction with he and his wife, which was very positive, I don't have a great track record with him. I was not about to talk with him about my miscarriage. I politely declined, but the LPN kept saying "but he's a third year resident". I'm glad I held my ground, I would have been pretty profoundly uncomfortable with him.
Anyway, back to the good stuff. We moved on to discuss our next cycle. Essentially the RE basically said that there was no reason other than old eggs and statistics on why the pregnancy didn't stick. We are not going to change the protocol. I stimmed well, I have mature eggs, they fertilized well, divided well, had several embryos that made it to pretty advanced stages of development, the two blasts they transferred were beautiful.....just bad luck this time. She is optimistic about IVF working for us, given how tuned in to the emotional aspect of this process, I don't think she would say something like that lightly. At the end of the meeting, she said that she would be my personal cheerleader...actually used those words.
Next, the IVF coordinator came in and discussed my potential schedule. I had some CM changes, so I think that AF will be coming in about a week. So we are looking at a tentative ER/ET week of October 6. It all seems very surreal thinking about stimming again, but this time I am excited and not so nervous. I've never been looking so forward to AF showing up in my life (ok, maybe once or twice in college....but I digress).
Anyway, back to the good stuff. We moved on to discuss our next cycle. Essentially the RE basically said that there was no reason other than old eggs and statistics on why the pregnancy didn't stick. We are not going to change the protocol. I stimmed well, I have mature eggs, they fertilized well, divided well, had several embryos that made it to pretty advanced stages of development, the two blasts they transferred were beautiful.....just bad luck this time. She is optimistic about IVF working for us, given how tuned in to the emotional aspect of this process, I don't think she would say something like that lightly. At the end of the meeting, she said that she would be my personal cheerleader...actually used those words.
Next, the IVF coordinator came in and discussed my potential schedule. I had some CM changes, so I think that AF will be coming in about a week. So we are looking at a tentative ER/ET week of October 6. It all seems very surreal thinking about stimming again, but this time I am excited and not so nervous. I've never been looking so forward to AF showing up in my life (ok, maybe once or twice in college....but I digress).
Monday, August 4, 2008
IVF #2 here I come
Lots and lots of things have been happening lately, so blogging has been put on the way back burner. Work has been tremendously stressful, so I'm glad not to be cycling at the moment. I have an appointment on Wednesday with the RE to discuss the past, and look toward the future. As of late we have been gung ho about starting another cycle as quickly as possible. Partly because I am feeling the pressure of the biological clock, and partly because I want something else to think about other than our successful, yet failed IVF#1.
However, I have a new goal - vacation. An honest to goodness vacation that doesn't involve going to visit family. We've been talking about Disney for awhile now, and it has been put on hold several times. Money is tight and we just weren't sure if it was fiscally responsible for us to go on a trip like that (we don't have a great track record with restraining our spending on vacation). C just found out that with his reward points from his credit card, we can get 3 airline tickets, plus pay for a rental car for the week, not too mention we could use my parents' timeshare...that pretty much sealed the deal for me. Right now I have time off the first week of December, but have no idea what will be happening IVF/pregnancy wise at that time, and when it will be okay to travel. That is going to be pretty high on my priority list to talk with the RE about. Our family desperately needs to take a vacation so I'm hoping that we can do whatever kind of manipulation to my cycle, without delaying the process much, to make it happen. We also thought about going to Ireland with the reward points....but Z is much to small to enjoy that type of sightseeing, so Disney it is.
I have all but gained back the weight that I lost at the beginning of the year. Ten pounds I credit to the IVF meds, and 7 pounds to the emotional eating after the pregnancy loss. I'm back on the exercise mode again and starting to feel a little better. My eating is still an issue, as I'm sure it always will be. C needs to lose weight as well, so we have decided to have a weekly "meeting" and plan our meals and exercise times for the up coming week. We need that rigid kind of scheduling, because otherwise something will come up and exercise will be secondary - when it really needs to be a priority for both of us.
However, I have a new goal - vacation. An honest to goodness vacation that doesn't involve going to visit family. We've been talking about Disney for awhile now, and it has been put on hold several times. Money is tight and we just weren't sure if it was fiscally responsible for us to go on a trip like that (we don't have a great track record with restraining our spending on vacation). C just found out that with his reward points from his credit card, we can get 3 airline tickets, plus pay for a rental car for the week, not too mention we could use my parents' timeshare...that pretty much sealed the deal for me. Right now I have time off the first week of December, but have no idea what will be happening IVF/pregnancy wise at that time, and when it will be okay to travel. That is going to be pretty high on my priority list to talk with the RE about. Our family desperately needs to take a vacation so I'm hoping that we can do whatever kind of manipulation to my cycle, without delaying the process much, to make it happen. We also thought about going to Ireland with the reward points....but Z is much to small to enjoy that type of sightseeing, so Disney it is.
I have all but gained back the weight that I lost at the beginning of the year. Ten pounds I credit to the IVF meds, and 7 pounds to the emotional eating after the pregnancy loss. I'm back on the exercise mode again and starting to feel a little better. My eating is still an issue, as I'm sure it always will be. C needs to lose weight as well, so we have decided to have a weekly "meeting" and plan our meals and exercise times for the up coming week. We need that rigid kind of scheduling, because otherwise something will come up and exercise will be secondary - when it really needs to be a priority for both of us.
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